Often occupied by my own thoughts (some called it worries), this is a post of another worry that I extract out of a conversation with N, a colleague of mine, last Friday evening (Dec 5th, 2014).
Standing separated by the bar table in our office, the question “What makes her doing what she did?” came from N. N was talking about M, someone in the company who (we feel) is not reasonable in her participation in business decision.
I replied with a “I don’t know”. I had never thought of the reasoning behind her act / decision since I had found a way to overcome M’s abuse of power, by practicing practicality (read: if someone is unreasonable, deal with his/her superior, instead of him/her). “Why would you ask that question?” I asked back.
“You know, there is a saying that ‘hurt people hurts people’”, she said. I was taken aback by this quote.
Is doing bad things means we are simply reflecting our experiences to our surroundings? That M is only giving us hard time because she was treated that way in her previous company? That her longing for control (power) is caused by the lack of power she has in this current company we are in? Or is it her way of being?
If it is, does it mean that doing good things doesn’t necessarily mean that we are good people? Perhaps we are only acting that way since it’s caused by how we are brought up, by his family, education, or the social norms we got accustomed to?
I am not sure what to think about this.. I have always believed that there are good people and some not-that-good people. I understand that people do what they do for a reason, therefore, even the most evil has their reasons, which they might have understood unwisely.. What takes me by surprise is the thought of wondering that there might be no good people… That we are actually neutral when we are born, that we learn to be good/bad through years lived, that our heredity is not necessarily the main factor we act the way we act..
If so, there might not be good people. But, then, we are all free to choose what and how we are going to learn. We are given the freedom to learn the good and avoid the bad (and doing so wisely, knowing that our values are not necessarily the best and others’ not the worst).
Being affected by the world, we must remember that we are also affecting the world.. Yeah, you know where I am going with this). So, do good to the world and it will bring back kindness to you.
Have a nice day! 🙂
p.s. This is one of a list of my wondering thoughts (in response to Countdown, regardless of how incorrect my thought might be..)